As much as i wanted to know about your day, what you're doing, where you're at, I just didn't have to courage to contact you for fear that it may make you luen and become more fed-up of me. I just feel jealous sometimes and i don't know how to deal with it. I'm always afraid i cannot compare to him. How both of you have more things in common; his thoughtfulness; he even fits like a glove with cc and sf. I'm sorry, but i never wanted things to get so complicated.
I suffer in silence. Laying in bed, staring aimlessly to the ceiling -- thinking of us. Curled up in bed, squeezing my pillow so tightly while letting out heavy sighs. Late nights reading your blogs to tire myself so i can just fall asleep. Constantly refreshing the browser to see an update. Everyone must think i'm am idiot. But no one knows.
Yet I can't stand to see you so sad between two people. I know you feel awful about what's going on now, but i wanna assure you that i want to be here for you. I can feel that your heart still feels for me.
Dear, i don't know if you're reading this, but i do hope you'd get to read my heart's feeling.
i will be waiting for you.
always.
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