love

today has a new look. today is a new day. today marks the beginning of a new year.

as many usher in the new rabbit year with hopes and dreams, they also leave behind not-so-sweet memories of yesteryears behind them. some do so with ease -- they can't wait for what's in store for them in 2011.

others struggle to let go and embrace tomorrow.

well, i belong to the latter.

in this new year, i am constantly reminded of recent happenings which pain the heart. indeed, it is a struggle for me to own up to the situation that now face me. i used to be bold, i used to be strong, but now i feel weak because i am longing to belong.

i gave my heart to someone, and there it remained, through good times and through bad times; through all the times.

tonight, i called you out. for no other reason than to catch a glimpse of you to fill the emptiness in my heart; i just missed you so much.

you declined, not much to my surprise; you didn't feel like going out. i'd understand.

but how distraught i was moments later, when i learnt that you will be going out later, even later than when i asked, with him. almost in an instant, you had the feel to go out. i guess that was the spur of the moment. or was planned in the first place? i don't know. i may never know.

when we went out, it was never this late. i understood the inconvenience it cause you and your family. we always rushed for early nights out. but with him, things are now different. i am a little saddened at the double standard.

still, who am i to say these things? i am just one in love with you.

Love,

is not only about the things you say to a person,

Love,

is not only about what you do for a person,

Love,

is not only about the love you make to a person,

Love,

is really about compassion and understanding, acceptance of another person's heart, and forebearing self emotions when letting out seems like the only reasonable thing to do. it's really about loving a person no matter what happens, no matter how hard and painful the situation may seem, and always wanting to be there for that person at every moment of the day. nothing is too difficult to forgive, when it is this LOVE that reigns in your heart.

indeed, it is this LOVE reigns in my heart. for you.

and tonight, it is trialled and tested.

gone deeper in love.